I am the master of my own destiny. I tend to repeat that to remind myself that all the stupid shit I get myself into is my fault. I'm drunk and it's not even noon. That's not regular for me (anymore). My husband has been admitted to a psych ward for a suicide attempt. He asked me to meet him at a park yesterday. I blew him off. This is what happens. I don't believe for a second it's legitimately my fault, but I can't help but take into consideration the possibility that I could have held him in his time of need. He took off on me, which is something I have to repeatedly remind myself of. Now at this stage, I'm fucking up a relationship I actually enjoy. Nom nom the drugs is where I'm at. being sent away at midnight with nothing, as per usual. When it all comes down to it--- it's Mathew's fault, but Eric is also the master of his own destiny. He kicked me out. One fucking drunk ass night, and I get kicked out. I guess it's better late than never for him to realize he can't deal with me. Muchos gracias codein, weed and booze.