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Mandark [userpic]

This is me not bitching about Visalia.....

September 12th, 2014 (09:48 pm)
cynical

current location: Visalia, California
Feelin:: cynical
Sounds:: Goldberg Variations

Antibiotics+fever== world's best drugs. Or at least I think so, I suppose they're not supposed to be. Watching 'You're the worst'........kind of questioning a lot of things in my life. I hate seeing a person I can relate to on TV. Why? Well, because I despise the fact that I haven't owned it on my own. OK, scratch that--- I have. I've owned being me. I shouldn't feel the need to relate myself to any sort of television character; but maybe my lack of self-esteem gives forth to that. At the same time, it's still my choice. Granted, it's not always my choice how I feel about myself, but I can put forth the effort to feel better about me.
Going to a therapist.
Wondering how I could pull off the jobs I've had..... being a business owner, someone in training to be sommelier, set designer, photographer, newspaper employee, ranch hand....to name a few.
Maybe that just says that I can't commit to a job. Now I just want to work for Toys'R'Us. Why? 'Cause I love toys.
Oh wait....why do I love toys? I refuse to grow up, that's why.
Sometimes I wonder if I've lost brain-cells, although I really don't think I have. I just think I'm at a total loss......
It's almost like I've been buried for 6 years. I wish I could give it a legitimate explanation, but I can't. There's no excuse for it.

At the same time- I also just want to write a blog about the beginning to end of Law and Order SVU. So there's my goals. No surprise there.

Also, My husband and I have been working on a youtube series doing commentary on Project Runway. Who the fuck does that shit?

People who dont give a fuck. I guess.